Everyday gratefuls

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So apart from having an awesome baby, lately life has been more on the not so fun side.

Of course I’m permanently tired because of the baby – but thats kind of a given so I’m over that.

Its mostly because I’m not at home because of the renovations dragging on. What was meant to be a few days at Mum and Dad’s out of the dust and noise has dragged into about six weeks. The man doesn’t stay out here much and we usually see him only for a couple of hours a night then he’s home to bed and work the next day.

Now I’m not upset about where I’m staying and its great that Mum and Dad have got to spend so much time with little man, that they wouldn’t have otherwise had – and I can’t thank them enough for everything they’re doing for us. But its not home and I miss the man. I feel like we are living in limbo and I just want to get home.

Its getting me down because I just feel like I’m whinging all the time.

So for this week we’re giving positivity a try! I thought a good way to start would be by doing #everydaygratefuls, everyday I will post something I am grateful for. I will also try to generally be more positive!

So today I am grateful for the smiles and fun I had in the car with little man while we were driving home from Berrigan this morning. Note the wet strap..he likes gumming on it!

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– Jen

Feed for thought

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Cherie’s post tonight over at the Raising Master Max Facebook page got me thinking about breastfeeding again. Her post was about a cafe in South Yarra who had asked two mothers to leave because one of them was breastfeeding their four month old.

Before I got pregnant I always thought of breastfeeding as one of those things you just did as a mother. I knew some people didn’t breast feed and I just assumed it was a choice. You either chose to or you didn’t.

No one told me that it can bloody hurt, and that theres a whole industry and support network around breastfeeding alone! No one mentions you kind of have to figure out how to breastfeed in public yourself. The feeling you get that everyone knows you’re a breastfeeding muppet who is either going to expose yourself or not feed your baby correctly because you are too anxious about exposing yourself!

I expected that as I was choosing to breastfeed then I would breastfeed and my baby would look adoringly into my eyes and we would have a fabulous bond because of it. So I joined as a member of the Australian Breastfeeding Association (ABA), went to a breastfeeding class and assumed that would do the trick.

The reality of breastfeeding for me has been very painful bleeding cracked nipples, fast let down/oversupply issues, repeated visits to a lactation consultant, mastitis on top of dealing with a baby with reflux! That coupled with some nervousness about feeding in public has meant I haven’t put myself in situations where I have had to feed in public much. Mother’s group excepted because I do feel quite comfortable feeding there!

There is so much help and support out there for women to continue breastfeeding, and still Australian breastfeeding statistics show that we are falling short of the World Health Organisation and Australia’s National Health and Medical Research Councils recommendations.

From the ABA website:

“The World Health Organization recommends exclusive* breastfeeding for babies to 6 months of age, and thereafter for breastfeeding to continue alongside suitable complementary foods for up to 2 years and beyond.1

The National Health and Medical Research Council recommends exclusive breastfeeding for around 6 months and then for breastfeeding to continue alongside complementary food until 12 months of age and beyond, for as long as the mother and child desire.2

…..Statistics from the 2010 Australian National Infant Feeding Survey3results indicate that 96% of mothers initiate breastfeeding. Thereafter, exclusive breastfeeding rates drop off. Less than half (39%) of babies are still being exclusively breastfed to 3 months (less than 4 months) and less than one quarter (15%) to 5 months (less than 6 months).” (more info here)

After having breastfed for almost 12 weeks now – woo hoo! I can see why mothers give the game away. I think about it usually once a week! Its hard. Sometimes you feel like you need some time off and sure you can express a feed but that really only gives you a few hours before you need to express or feed again anyway. That’s something I didn’t know! It is just constant.

So why am I persevering? Well most of the time now feeds are pain free! Angus is gaining weight, having the right amount of wet and dirty nappies and I know that if I have any issues at all I can get help from the ABA 24-7 or I can book in to see a number of different lactation consultants and so I have no real reason to stop!

I like the fact that breastfeeding is good for my baby. I like that its so convenient! And part of me likes that its something that only I can provide for my baby.

Thats not to say that sometimes I think I’d just like my body back just for me – I do feel like a cow sometimes! But its getting to be a heck of a lot more like how I imagined breastfeeding would be.

I am just one mother experiencing these things, and I would say close to 100% of the women in my mothers group had feeding challenges. Some have stopped breastfeeding, some mix feed, some like me are lucky and doing better.

It is places like that cafe that shatter our confidence. Its not only the women that were asked not to feed there – its all the other women that hear about it and then wonder next time they go to feed in public, it is really okay that I’m doing this?

It IS okay, and the law actually says so. This section of the ABA website mentions how to lodge a complaint.

Of course the cafe might also protest if they had mothers sitting around with hungry babies. Surely that racket is worse than mothers doing one of the most natural things in the world!

– Jen

Edited to remove FB link as this was to an old cafe at 181 Domain Rd. The cafe in question is called Cafe Domain at 171 Domain Rd. The new cafe at 181 Domain Rd, is NOT involved and are lovely (patient) people! So if you are in the area head to Domain Brasserie not Cafe Domain!

Shutup legs – Fit Parents Aus feature

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In November last year I was featured on Fit Parents Aus and discussed keeping fit while pregnant. With all the chaos since the little man’s arrival I never got a chance to link it from my blog!

Thanks to Kate, @FitParentsAus for the opportunity to air my thoughts about keeping fit!

Link here…

– Jen

The first six, seven, eight, nine and ten weeks are the hardest

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I recently read this article, what no one tells you about motherhoodMy goodness, it is bang on. Especially the part about babies being medieval. So true! “None of us is prepared for this kind of uncivilised intrusion on our beautiful, hand-made lives. Not even if you are wildly maternal”.

They say the first six weeks are the hardest. It is kind of true, and I will continue telling the lie that was told to me, for my friends when they become first time Mums. But its not the end of the sentence. It actually is, ‘the first six weeks are the hardest – because you are not used to it’. After six weeks you just get used to the sleep deprivation and adjust to your new reality!

Once you get used to that, its still just as hard but you’re so sleep deprived you forget what you used to do anyway. Its the letting go of your old normal that is one of the hardest parts.

Although I do think there is a peak in the crying at six weeks. And also, they start to smile around that time so you don’t feel like you are working quite so hard when you get some reward!

Like I said in this post, when I wondered why couldn’t people just be happy and excited for us, why did they have to warn us about how bad it was all going to be…I still stand by this. There’s no point warning future mothers of the impending shitstorm (sometimes literally) that is motherhood, they’re in too deep now anyway.

So now we’re at 10 weeks, 11 weeks on Friday and I am used to my new kind of normal and enjoying it!

One of the things I find the hardest is that you have to be a quick thinker, which I am not. I like to deliberate over things before I make decisions, now I have to make decisions on the fly.

The other thing I find hard is that as my friend Bridgett says, the buck stops with you as Mum. Mum’s are the boss (even if the baby thinks they are the boss) and its a 24-7, never ending, often completely overwhelming responsibility. Unless you’re a stay at home Dad and then I guess its a bit different. Maybe the ‘primary caregiver’ is the boss?

Don’t get me wrong, its not all doom and gloom because as everyone says, ‘they grow up so fast’. And they really do! Well, he’s not talking or walking but already those early days are a distant memory, and now for every bad hour or two or a whole bad day, it passes quickly and something lovely or nice happens and you forget about that awful reflux – or the toe curlingly painful feeding.

I am much more relaxed now. Just because he is screaming his head off now, doesn’t mean that in 5 minutes he won’t be fast asleep or smiling. It’s not permanent. The days go by so fast, it’s amazing.

Every day I learn a bit more, relax a bit more and enjoy him a bit more. It seems like ages ago I was waiting everyday for him to smile, and now I get an enormous goofy grin all the time which I love.. except when its at 2am. Then its known as the ‘f–ing midnight smiley bears’.

We have definitely had a rough week with both of us getting an awful cold. I can’t remember the last time I was so sick. I think not being able to take cold and flu tablets was why it was so bad, I ended up caving and having some by about the fourth day as I was so congested. And I had plenty of milk frozen anyway so it worked out okay. Then just as I turned the corner he got sick, poor snuffly baby.

We are both on the mend, but were too sick to go to mothers group today which I was really looking forward to. But – there is always next week which will be here in a flash.

All I can say is, thank goodness for my parents. I am still staying with them as our renovations crawl along. My Dad stayed up and did the night feeds on my worst night which saved me – I don’t know how I would have managed. Thank you Nanny & Poppy Uns!

Well, I’ve had an hour to myself and spent it blogging and drinking a cup of nescafe blend 43. Yes, really – see above re: adjusting to my new reality.

Until next time!

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– Jen

When Grape was a boy – the last update

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So I know at the end of my last post I said ‘to be continued’ but I’m not actually blogging my birth story. There’s plenty online though, if you google “hideous induction birth story” you are sure to find something just like it!

Still, this post contains words like NIPPLES and VAGINA so if those words make you feel uncomfortable stop reading now, if they make you giggle – read on!

A million photo quotes on instagram say that nothing worth having comes easy or ..a smooth sea never made a skilled sailor…er or good things happen to those who hustle. Hmm, maybe just the first quote is relevant.

Anyway on Friday at 7:43pm after a very long ‘hustle’ Angus James Fankhauser arrived weighing 2.820kg and laughing in the face of the lobstertrician who’d said he was small for dates. He didn’t actually laugh, and the obstetrician who said that wasn’t actually there…but you get my point. He’s a normal sized baby.

I was so shocked when the man said “it’s a boy!!” I couldn’t imagine having a boy as I only have a sister so I was sure it would be a girl!

The next few days were a blur of visitors, tears and cracked nipples. Angus was born with a tongue tie so was basically sawing my nipples when he fed.

He was fine, I was not. At all.

It was like there were x number of things I could cope with, sleep deprivation, leaving my modesty at home, barrage of visitors, crap food, milk coming in, hormones…but the pain of feeding was pushing me over my limit.

Most of the midwives were excellent except one who after I got back from the birth suite commented “wow, looking at your vagina is making my vagina sore”. Bedside manner fail.

Thankfully there were also wonderful midwives who despite being understaffed were so patient with me and answered all of my questions…unfortunately with conflicting answers most of the time. Still, they were very nice!

We did manage to find a doctor who snipped his tongue tie before we left. Phew. I had not realised how important breast feeding was to me, and I also now totally understand why so many women give up or don’t do it and I totally respect their choice either way! It can really hurt! I am still not sure how long I will breast feed for but things are getting better slowly.

Anyway on the Monday afternoon with a serious case of the dreaded third day blues I went home to a house full of in laws clamouring to hold him…I only just managed to keep my shit together in front of them but later when Mum came around to help out and Angus was either screaming his head off or projectile vomiting everywhere (apparently normal!!) I was a tad…overwhelmed.

Things didn’t get much better for the next two weeks, while the projectile vomiting stopped, the painful feeding continued and Angus decided that he didn’t like sleeping in his cot, or his bassinet in the pram, the crib our in laws bought him or the ergobaby. Angus only liked sleeping on people, particularly the man. He liked being held…all the freaking time. It was a nightmare.

So our days were a haze of lactation consultant appointments and some sessions at the parents and baby unit who were fantastic. Apparently although it feels like there is a piranha attached to me he’s a great feeder, I have an awesome supply and he is stacking on weight. We also learnt some settling techniques which have helped a lot.

Once I knew he was fine, that everything we were going through was normal I started to relax. I’ve also reduced my expectations. I expected to be able to get out and about more, to be taking my charming baby who slept out to coffees with friends everyday. That I’d be walking lots, doing lots of rehab ready to start running in a few weeks. Now if I have a shower, that is a good day and if I have time to have an instant coffee at home it is a great day! And running? It’s going to be awhile.

When I was at the child health nurse I had to do an Edinburgh depression scale test and one if the questions asked have you been so unhappy you have been crying. I couldn’t answer it, I have been crying…but I’m not at all unhappy, I don’t feel depressed…I AM JUST SO TIRED.

But the fog is starting to lift. While the sleep deprivation is still really hard, everything is a bit more manageable now. We are fast approaching the magical six week mark which everyone says is when it all gets better. We’ll see. I feel like I am coping a bit better everyday.

And you have to really!! I think it was that initial shock about the induction and the ever so slightly traumatic birth and the realisation nothing is ever going to be the same, was a bit much for my control freak nature to deal with. I have a friend who has twins and often at 3am when he’s being difficult I shake my head and think… WTF!!

And we are so so lucky that he’s a healthy baby. A girl I work with lost a newborn only a week or so after she was born, and I think about that often. We are incredibly lucky.

I am also lucky to have lots of support here. At the moment I’m at Mum and Dad’s while our renovations continue. It got a bit much dodging holes in the floor at 3am, being covered in plaster dust and trying to sleep through the noise of a drop saw. Angus was coping fine not needing a kitchen (he isn’t much of a cook) but I was over it!

Christmas is approaching and I expect things will go a bit nuts with visitors again and we will find it hard to keep him to any kind of routine, but again I’m expecting it. Of course with lots of visitors comes lots of fun and lots of people around to help.

I’m not sure how much blogging I’ll be able to do, today was a great day as he slept all afternoon leaving me free to do things like have a cup of tea with my Nan and write. We’ll see!

To all my friends and family who have sent presents, cooked us meals or done loads of washing – THANKYOU. I hope I can repay you sometime!!!

Here are some pics, check out the number of Angus sleeping on Dad photos!

– Jen

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37 & 38 week update

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So where were we? That’s right I was off for a growth scan when I was 37 weeks.

The scan itself went okay and we left feeling reassured everything was totally fine. The man had the day off so we decided to go to the movies as we were both so relaxed.

After we got out of the movies I checked my phone and had three missed calls from the doctor….I was a bit freaked out (read: a LOT freaked out) and when I rang they said they couldn’t find why they had called me. Eventually we sorted out it out and they said the lobstertrician would see me that afternoon.

So the lobstertrician tells us that while Grape appeared fine, he or she was only in the 3rd or 5th percentile for its size (depending on the sex of the baby) and was what they called IUGR. I would have to be monitored closely and he was trying to book me in for an induction as soon as possible. Thankfully the soonest booking he could get was the following Wednesday. We left and headed over to the hospital for another CTG. I was to have another one on the Friday, then another scan on the Tuesday along with another CTG.

We didn’t want to tell anyone I was being induced because it kind of ruins the surprise! And everything was fine on every scan and CTG so there was nothing to worry about. I was so disappointed about being induced as I was looking forward to going into labour naturally and this seemed so unnatural!

I ended up telling my parents and a couple of close friends – I had to tell someone!!

My mum told me I was two weeks late and only 6 pounds 9 so Grape was very similar! I think IUGR probably hadn’t been invented to stress out new mothers back then.

The scan on the Tuesday went okay, it was very quick and Dr Wass just commented that the sooner Grape came out the better (bit more worry). The CTG that afternoon was still totally fine though. We left hospital thinking wow, we’ll be back tomorrow to meet Grape! But we had just gotten home when they rang and bumped my induction to Thursday. I was pretty happy about that, an extra day to get my head around it!!

So Thursday afternoon we went to hospital, had yet another CTG and then the gel which was hopefully going to kick start labour. I spent the night in the same room as a new baby and its Mum and it cried all night so I had a terrible nights sleep. All I could think was that tomorrow night it might be my baby keeping someone awake! I didn’t feel like the gel was doing anything so I wasn’t in a great mood Friday morning!

…to be continued!!

36 weeks – where the first day of maternity leave doesn’t go to plan

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So the first day of my 36th week was not the relaxing enjoyable first day of maternity leave I was thinking it would be.

The plan for my first day was:
– 1km swim
– 36 week checkup
– Coffee
– Feet up

The day went like this:
– 1km swim
– 36 week checkup
– Panic
– Booking in for growth scan ASAP
– Blood test
– Hospital for an hour for CTG for Grape
– Home, feet up

According to the lobstertrician Grape is measuring a bit small. I found this hard to believe because at my last midwife checkup two weeks ago, I was spot on for my measurements and now was telling me I was a centimetre smaller. Mind you this is after months of everyone saying how BIG I am. Make up your mind people. Anyway, he booked us in for a growth scan ASAP. I was not a fan of those words ‘ASAP’. And getting a booking for a scan around here is never easy. We managed to get in the following Tuesday. I guess technically that still is ASAP.

Anyway after poking Grape around for a bit the lobstertrician checked the heart rate and then said it was a bit high. He waited awhile and then checked it again and said it was normal but then it went up again so he said he’d like to send us for a CTG.

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The lobstetrician 

By now I was starting to feel like my first day off was not going at all like I had planned and its fair to say I was a little worried about Grape. Of course the man was his usual cool self. Grape also didn’t appear to be at all worried, unless wiggling its bum at people is its way of showing it. So, off to get a blood test – I forget for what, I think they just do them for fun when you are pregnant.

Then off to the hospital. The doctor had rung them so the midwife knew I was coming in. She was the complete opposite of the doctor, she was very reassuring and even rolled her eyes when I said they were sending me for a scan, and said they wouldn’t have sent me for a scan for being such a small amount off where I should be. AND she even measured me a centimetre and a half bigger than the doctor had. By now I was feeling much more relaxed. After I went and peed in a cup (another one of those things they make you do for fun when you’re pregnant) she hooked me up to the CTG and then showed us how Grape’s heart rate was on the left of the monitor and the number on the right was measuring contractions (not that I could feel them).

Then she left us alone for about 45 minutes.

Now they say they you marry someone like your father but I didn’t really believe that until the man started fiddling with the stuff in the room. It reminded me of Dad taking me to orthodontist appointments and him touching all the stuff before the orthodontist arrived and me freaking out we’d get in trouble. The man walked around the room, looked at everything, weighed himself and played with the blood pressure monitor until I hissed at him to stop it. Honestly!

At first I was just watching the heart rate but it was pretty consistent so the man and I went back to chatting until it went right up, but then we realised the contraction number was also right up. Interesting! Grape was pretty much going nuts the whole time, which was making me laugh, which was making the CTG stop working. The man made me lose it completely when he joked about imagining Grape in there tapping on the CTG transducer saying “hello, hello…is this thing on”. Very funny ..but maybe you had to be there.

Anyway eventually the midwife came back, declared everything totally normal and sent us on our way.

The rest of the week was pretty uneventful, I just rested really! Didn’t do much at all and spent way too much time on the couch!

Although I did handwash the baby clothes for the hospital in lux flakes. Ridiculous. Who are the mothers who are doing this for all the clothes? I had all the time in the world to do it and I still hated it. Grape, I love you – but I’m not hand washing your clothes. It was a nice idea though.

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It was probably a good thing I was so well rested because on Saturday we headed up to the King Valley to help our friends out who were running the King Valley Challenge multisport race. I was totally exhausted by the end of the day and spent Sunday curled up on the couch watching Gilmore Girls. Related: Why is Luke so stupid?

Today I’m 37 weeks which means we’re full term now. Hooray! But Grape, I wouldn’t mind another couple of weeks of getting settled into maternity leave so feel free to stay put for a few weeks yet. But please remember it is important to be on time for things, being late is not a good first impression on your parents!

Tomorrow we have the growth scan with Dr Debbie Wass – who most parents-to-be in Albury know as what you might call a ‘straight shooter’. She’s great though, but quite direct. On Wednesday we have our 37 week appointment with the midwife.

Well I’m off now, time for a walk (in search of coffee!).

– Jen

35 weeks – chocolate coated onions and a firestorm of emotion

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This week was a big week, I finished work today which is a little weird. I think its going to be weirder on Monday though!

I’m still keeping pretty active, well what I think is active for being 35 weeks pregnant! I walked to and from work twice, but walked to work everyday, swam twice – and I’m planning on swimming tomorrow morning too. Shoulders are still holding up, but I really struggled getting through 1km the other morning just because I was tired. I feel like I am repeating myself every week by saying I’m tired. And yes yes, I know its going to only get worse.

This week was a week of encounters with ‘those people’, the ones mummy blogs tell you about, those people who tell you what to do…or in the case of one gem, what not to do with babies.

This is a conversation I had with someone via instant message this week:

Person: Hey Jen, in case I forget good luck with the rest of your pregnancy. Hope you
realise your life of freedom will soon be over!
Me: haha thanks (I think)
Person: hehehehe I told my sister the same thing 15 years ago, she now wishes she’d
listened to me and had reconsidered the whole child thing
Me: Oh well, too late now!
Person: There’s always adoption!

I didn’t bother responding.

I’m over the whole ‘say goodbye to the rest of your life’, ‘if you think you can’t sleep now, wait until the baby arrives’ comments. They far FAR outweigh the number of people who have said “this is such a special time” or “you must be so excited”. Because we are really excited…stop ruining it for us! Even if those things about sleep are true!

Then today, a guy said to me “enjoy eating that chocolate because you can’t have it when you’re breastfeeding” (because apparently babies can’t tolerate chocolate flavoured breast milk) and then…and THEN “you can’t eat onions either, at all, not raw, not cooked, not AT ALL”. Gee thanks guy. If I listen to you I’m going to have give up chocolate coated onions. Babies really do suck! Seriously, onions?

One of the what to expect when you’re pregnant websites listed being a ‘firestorm of emotion’ as something to expect this week (although the man would say..just this week?). I *have* been a leetle bit more emotional this week. I blame the concreter that didn’t show up on Wednesday for starting it. That was my first proper renovation related tantrum, which I still feel was warranted given the complete lack of  progress in the past few weeks. It didn’t get me anywhere but I feel the man (and maybe some of the neighbours) are much more aware of my interest in progressing the renovations sooner rather than later.

On a much more positive note, finishing work means more time to rest which I am definitely looking forward to. I do have lots of little jobs to do next week, which I think is good as it gives me a bit to do. On Monday morning we have our 36 week lobstertrician appointment which I’m also looking forward to.

Oh and, its the weekend!!

– Jen

34 week update

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Today we had our 34 week midwife appointment. It was kind of…boring! It was supposed to be talking about labour and birth skills. The midwife asked us if we’d been to an antenatal class which we said we had, and then she asked if we had any questions, which we didn’t. She mentioned something about did we know about the signs of labour and the man said yes, it would be good if she could go through that. But instead, she just quizzed ME about it. Lucky I paid attention in the class. THEN she asked me about the different stages of labour. She didn’t ask the man anything!

But we were both just hanging out for the ‘lets see what the baby is up to’ bit. Grape was clearly mooning the midwife with a big bum bump sticking out the side of me. Grape’s heart rate was good, my blood pressure was good – and we were outta there in 20 minutes!

The man are I are having regular ‘can you believe in six weeks…or maybe less…or maybe a bit more we’re going to have a baby’ *stare at each other* moments. They vary between us being really excited and being completely terrified. 

On the weekend we went shopping for things on the ‘hospital list’. I am not a ‘baby shower’ person and we really didn’t have much for Grape to wear. On the list was baby clothes (including singlets), bunny rugs, newborn size disposable nappies, baby wipes, baby toiletries. I did a bit of googling and apparently its recommended you take some 000 and some 0000 clothes. Sounded pretty simple. We figured we’d just go to target and pick up some singlets, onesies, a beanie and some wraps. 20 minute job. Well. It would probably have been easier if we knew if we were having a boy Grape or a girl Grape but still.

Target had funny sizes, no beanies…so we went to the bonds store. Again no beanie/hats, and it seemed expensive and again, gender neutral is hard…checked out kmart and pumpkin patch. We had success with the beanie at pumpkin patch…well we ticked the item off the list. It wasn’t exactly what I had in mind, but the man picked it and it IS pretty cute. And do you even *need* a beanie in mid november? Who knows. Also, baby toiletries? Like what? Disposable razors? deoderant?

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And also, what the hell are bunny rugs? I still don’t know if what we got are ‘bunny rugs’. I don’t even know if we got what we need. But its not like we live in the middle of nowhere, I’m sure if there’s something we’re missing we can go and get it. 

As luck would have it…one of our friends turned up minutes after we got home with a big tub FILLED with the exact kind of things we were looking for but couldn’t find (thanks Kate & Muz!)…INCLUDING regular looking beanies. You must have to already be a Mum to know where to find that stuff. 

So now we have LOTS of stuff. If the baby shop would hurry up and deliver the cot and dresser we could actually put some stuff away instead of having it stacked on the floor for Dusty the robotic vacuum to try and eat.

Well, thats it for now. Its waaay past my bedtime and I’m planning on swimming in the morning.

– Jen

33 week update

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Its been a big week, but I’m lucky enough to have 4 days off work..then I only have 9 working days to go! I’m still wondering what exactly I’m going to do all day. Some days I’m super tired when I finish work and think I’m going to need the rest and other days I wonder how I’m going to fill in the days before Grape arrives.

I’ve been swimming every second day, really getting into it! I feel heaps better in the water than my first swim and don’t feel pregnant at all. This morning I managed to swim 1.2km. Still being super cautious, lots of stretching and taking it easy and being conscious of my technique all the time but so far my shoulders are behaving themselves. Could also be because when I used to swim I was also paddling (kayaking) a couple of times a week too which might have just been tipping them over the edge. I definitely feel like I’m getting faster!

I got to yoga again this week which was great, I think I enjoy it because EVERYONE is pregnant and its okay to talk about being pregnant and babies. I’m noticing I’m catching myself talking too much (or maybe what I think is too much?) about Grape with friends who aren’t pregnant, or don’t have kids. I get torn between, well this is my life now – and ah yeah they probably don’t want to hear it all the time. And then with some friends I feel like they don’t want to hear about it at all. 

But if you’re reading this its your choice so read it….or don’t!!!

On Saturday I went to a breast feeding class run by the Australian Breastfeeding Association. The midwives recommended you go, but I only know one friend who went to one and she said it was ‘meh’. I’d already signed up by then and was still keen to go…what if there was some magical secret you get told (typical Gen Y fear of missing out). Also if I have trouble breast feeding and I’d had the opportunity to go and didn’t, I’d be annoyed with myself. Four hours of talking about breastfeeding did seem like overkill at the start of the class but the class ran over time and I wasn’t looking at my watch. It was more interesting and I got more out of it than the antenatal class! Definitely worth going.

This week I did handover at work which was good, I feel like I’m in a good place with my work at the moment where I’m still really enjoying the work which is a nice way to be as I’m hoping it mean I will also look forward to going back when the time comes.

I’m still feeling pretty good, a bit more tired again – but feel like I am ‘used’ to being pregnant now…and that its the new normal for me and its just fitted into life. Maybe fitted in too well because the man had a laugh at me the other day, perched up on the recliner with my massive bump playing GTAV (violent video game), which is apparently not very maternal. Also while I type this I’m listening to Kayne West which kind of makes me laugh in the same way with lyrics like “plus he already got three chil’run, arguin over babysitters like, “Bitch – it’s yo’ turn!”. Might have to reevaluate music and videogame choices in the next 12 months.

Looking forward to 34 weeks, we have our next midwife appointment which is always interesting. We don’t go back to the midwife until 37 weeks as our 36 week appointment is with the lobstertrician to make sure Grape is starting to get ready to move out and is not planning on

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overstaying its lease. Okay obviously I’m guessing, but I’m sure its something like that.

I’m off now, time for some brekky and then maybe some more violent videogaming or if I have the energy I might even clean the house. Might. Maybe.

– Jen