Interview with a husband

Download PDF

I got the idea for this from another blog I’ve been reading – Mummy Wife Me . Thanks for the idea Renee!

But here he is, let me introduce you to ‘The Man’. We’ve been married for 5 years this year and together for 10. He is my almost exact opposite, logical and well..logical. I regularly wonder if one day he will divorce me due to my complete and utter illogical existence! Although as you will see, this is not what annoys him most about me!

Jen: Can I interview you for my blog?
The Man: (Flicking through Lego instruction manuals) Sure.
Jen: Okay. Ready??

Jen: What is the best part about being married to Jen?
The Man: I don’t like this interview, this is weird. Wait, Are you writing that? Okay, the
best part…I think Jen brings out the best in me. You do, you give me
confidence. Are you sure you don’t want to interview someone else? Are you writing this?
Stop it. Stop it. You’re being weird.

Jen: What is the worst part about being married to Jen?
The Man: You can beat me up hills…(on the bike)


Before I got too quick…

Jen: What is Jen’s most annoying habit?
The Man: Ummmmmm (still looking at lego manual) ummmmm leaving the dishwashing liquid on the sink instead of putting it away.
Jen: Really? That’s the most annoying thing?
The Man: Yep, really I’ve told you about it a bazillion times and you still do it. I’m not sure if you know Jen, I’m not an easily annoyed person!

Jen: What is Jen’s most endearing habit?
The Man: Endearing?
Jen: Yep
The Man: Ummmmm I don’t know how to say it…its like you are very, its not like you wear your heart on your sleeve…you empathise with people is maybe what I’m trying to say.

Jen: What was the first thing that attracted you to Jen.
The Man: The fact that you liked Futurama
Jen: Really?
The Man: No, just your personality. Easy to talk to. We had a lot of similar interests, although you’ve grown out of your lego interest..I’m sure that will come back.

Jen: What do you enjoy most about being a Dad?
The Man: Watching him grow and change and do everything for the first time. Its pretty cool.


Jen: What do you least enjoy about being a Dad?
The Man: Ha ummmm. Probably when he’s upset and you can’t do anything to help him or calm him down. I don’t like that. Its not logical!

Jen: What was your favourite thing to do with Jen pre-kids?
The Man: Did we do anything together before kids? I’m not joking. Did we? I used to like it when we went for bike rides together. Before you got too quick.

Jen: What do you miss doing with Jen now you have kids and limited time?
The Man: Riding
Jen: *Eyebrows* Bike riding?
The Man: Bike riding yes.

IMG_4605Jen: What is your most hated household chore? Do you even do any household chores?
The Man: Whatever! Yes I do plenty of household chores! And its cleaning the bathroom..
Jen: Eyebrows
The Man: And yes I’m fully aware I never clean the bathroom

Jen: What is your least hated household chore?
The Man: Vacuuming, I find it very logical.

Jen: What’s your favourite thing to cook?

Jen: What do you think annoys Jen most about you?
The Man: Um. That I’m very logical and that I use logic in everything.
Jen: Yes, correct. That’s annoying.

Jen: What do you think Jen loves most about you?
The Man: I’m not sure she does! Honestly I do not know. I think maybe because I make her laugh. Everyone calls me ‘Hilarious ‘The Man’.

Jen: Why do you think Jen is lucky to be married to you?
The Man: Phhh. I don’t think I need to dignify that with a response. Its pretty self explanatory
Jen: Eyebrows
The Man: I mean, I think I’m lucky to be married to Jen, I definitely got the better end of the deal


Jen: What do you think is the secret to a happy marriage?
The Man: U
mmmmm. Being able to support each other when you need to. Oh and communication. Which I think we still need to work on.

Jen: Thanks The Man, that’s all!
The Man: Oh really, did I answer them right? Did I win?
Jen: Yep. You won.
The Man: How could I win Jen that doesn’t even make sense.
Jen: Sigh.

There you go. I think thats a pretty good insight into our banter. Yes, I do love the fact he can make me laugh most of the time, even when I think I’m cranky.

– Jen


The grossest thing that has ever happened to me as a parent (so far)

Download PDF


Babies are revolting. Sure, they are sold as these sweet smelling newborns but really…especially eight months on – they’re revolting. Especially boys. Boys are gross.

So in eight months I’ve been puked on – regularly. As a mother of a reflux baby I am actually USED to getting vomited on. Projectile, chunky, warm, dribbles – I’ve had it all. And I’m okay with that.

I’ve cleaned up lots of poo too, a few number threes and a few really big poos which made me wonder how such a small baby MAKES something so big.

But what happened this week has trumped all the spew and grossness of the past eight months.

I actually asked people on Facebook what was the grossest thing their baby had done and most of the comments involved poo.

And so does my story.

Our story takes place in the bath. And yes I know, some of your stories involve poo in the bath.

This poo however was not one or two nicely formed…logs floating around (or sinking depending on the diet of your little one).

Nope! This poo was large in volume, and well …runny.

Oh that’s disgusting you say! Disgusting!! How can you bear to write about such disgustingness!


It gets better.

On this particular occasion Angus had a friend in the bath. A good friend. The very best friend a baby boy can have. That’s right.

His mother.

Yes, it was I who was in the bath when little man decided to ‘release the hounds’ so to speak.

Oh the screaming (from me).

The bath toys and I will be scarred forever.

And that’s all I have to say about that.

– Jen


#33 – Bad habits. Share yours and why you won’t give it up. Ever.

Download PDF

// For the next 50 days I am doing Fat Mum Slim’s 50 things to blog about challenge – in no particular order.

Today’s post is #33 – Bad habits. Share yours and why you won’t give it up. Ever.


I really need to remember to think outside the box with these questions. This one was quite simple in the end but this question has had me stumped for weeks!

I have MANY bad habits, biting my fingernails being the first one that springs to mind. But I have stopped doing it properly TWICE, once before our wedding and for some strange reason while I was pregnant and even got to little man being a few months old before I resumed nibbling.

I live in hope that one day I will stop permanently! So that’s not something I will say I won’t give up – ever!

Next bad habit. Procrastinating! I used to be terrible at this, or do I mean I used to be really good at this? I even took up guitar once to avoid uni assignments! I am all over this now though! For example my current challenge is staying on top of our washing, and I regularly create my own Mount Washmore of washed clothes to fold and sort. Pre baby I would ignore the pile of dirty washing until I was left with no clothes and now I aim for ‘washing basket zero’, the stay at home Mum version of ‘inbox zero’.

So what is it that I can’t give up?

My crippling social media use. I fully admit I love social media. Not sure how I’d be going at home all day with a baby without it!

I have given it up for probably 4-6 weeks a couple of times before, and could do it again but right now its going to count as my bad habit I’m not giving up! I’m not using Twitter much at the moment but am going gangbusters on facebook and instagram.

Facebook I use to stay in touch with my mothers group and also some friends that have recently had babies via a secret group so we can chat about mundane things like ‘WHY OH WHY WILL THEY NOT GO TO SLEEP’ without boring the rest of the sleep.

I’m also linking my blog posts to my facebook page ‘jentopia’. I try and do most of my baby related status updates on this page to keep my personal page free.

I’m conscious though that as little man gets bigger I don’t want to be stuck with my nose in my phone all day, it would be awful for him to think I’m ignoring him. I’d say that as he gets mobile and starts crawling that I will start curtailing my phone/computer use.

So that’s my bad habit! What about you? Is social media overuse your bad habit?

– Jen

We interrupt your regularly scheduled blogging to bring you…

Download PDF

We interrupt your regularly scheduled blogging to bring you…SPEWSAPALOOZA 2014!

We’ve all been struck down with gastro and I’ve had no time to blog as I’ve been looking after a baby who looks like this all day (and all night). Also accompanied by a really annoying ‘urrrrrrrrr’ ‘urrrrrrr’ ‘urrrrrrrr’ noise. To make it more fun the man was away for work!


I ended up going to emergency on Friday as little man was just vomiting repeatedly and not taking any fluids on (just a few ml of water here and there).


I coped pretty well with him on my own all day until about 5pm when the ‘urrrrr’ ‘urrrrrr’ ‘urrrrrrr’ noise got a bit much and I phoned a friend, or my Mum to be more exact. And I didn’t call her, I texted her.

By about 6pm that night I started feeling very average myself and ended up opening the technicolour fire hydrant in the hospital carpark. Even more disgusting was that I got puke on my shoe (it’s okay, it washed out).

Thankfully when I’d started feeling it coming on the doctor also gave me some maxalon which I took when I got home and stopped me making anymore pavement pizza.

Mum very kindly came and stayed on Friday night and looked after us both and delivered me some delicious soup (see photo below) on Saturday which helped a lot! Unfortunately she is now praying to the porcelain gods herself. Three generations of germs! Sorry Mum!


Seriously though this soup is amazing. Add the soup to a saucepan then fill the can with milk, add to the ‘soup’, heat and serve with toast and butter. I’m sure its full of nasties but its my ultimate comfort food.

Little man is on the mend but is still mostly refusing bottles, I managed to get 60ml into him before bed tonight and that was a battle. I suspect he might also be teething which doesn’t help!

Anyway, a pretty good excuse not to be keeping up with my ’50 things to post about’. I should resume regular programming in the next couple of days!

Until then, stay well and try not to paint the town green!

– Jen

#4 the day you left home

Download PDF

// For the next 50 days I am doing Fat Mum Slim’s 50 things to blog about challenge – in no particular order

Today’s post is #4 the day I left home.

When I was in year 11 and 12 I had no idea what I wanted to do when I grew up, I thought maybe I would like to be a journalist. But when I found out the journalism course was in Bathurst which meant moving away from home I couldn’t bear the thought of it so I did a degree from Albury.

I KNOW. What a muppet!!

So I stayed at home for the first couple of years of uni, not paying any board and because I’d never lived out of home before everything continued as normal, I’m pretty sure my Mum still did my washing and I still got cranky when I had to be askedto unpack the dishwasher!!!


I had been contemplating moving out with some friends from uni, probably because I was getting sick of being asked to do jobs. I was too chicken to bring it up with either of my parents, although I doubt they would have argued much!

The catalyst for me making the call was an argument with my Mum. She had just got a new laptop, her OWN laptop and I was helping her set it up. I’m sure she would agree that she is quite ‘particular’ about some things and that day it was the laptop.

I was whizzing through the setup when she caught sight of me clicking something on the screen, I think it was a message about the touchpad setup and I clicked the ‘click here to never see this again’ button.

“What was that!”
“That thing, that thing you just clicked”
“What? I don’t know, some..thing, it’s not important”..
“Well get it BACK”
“I CAN’T, I clicked here to never see it again”.

*cue meltdown* (from Mum)

After that I had the courage to tearfully tell Mum I was packing up and moving out of home.

She came and inspected my new digs after I’d been there for a week or so. Her only comment was that it was ‘big’. It was hideous!!

To her credit she ignored the enormous cracks in the walls that only got bigger over the years, the slightly musty smell from the laundry, the black mould in the bathroom and who knows what else I didn’t notice!

That’s all from me today – will give Mum the right of reply in the comments!

– Jen

Here’s the street view in case you were interested



– Jen

#40 The menu for your last meal ever

Download PDF

// For the next 50 days I am doing Fat Mum Slim’s 50 things to blog about challenge – in no particular order

Today’s post is #40 the menu for your last ever meal! Or last meal ever…

Far out! This is just getting too hard! And slightly depressing what with my last day ever and now my last meal.

Last meal ever…righto!

Lets start with a beer. I’m not going to get fancy, just give me a Jimmy Boags. – Premium because nobody likes Boags Draught. It is revolting stuff. The man accidentally bought a slab last time I asked him to buy Boags – honestly do I have to do everything myself? I drank it…grudgingly after I made it known I was not impressed.

Ahem. Back to the food…

For entrée it would have to be my Nan’s vegetable soup. Its vegetable soup with a bacon hock in it so not a vegetarian vegetable soup! And its amazing. I can’t eat too much of it though because I went a bit crazy with the mains.

Mains: Hmmm this was tough. Sticking with the Nan theme I have thought long and hard about this and I would really like some of Nan’s smoked cod! We have it on Good Friday, just the girls because the smell makes Dad want to vomit. Yep. So Nan’s smoked cod and with cauliflower and white sauce. So far I’m making my 81 year old Nan do all the cooking. Good stuff.


Seeing I can eat as much as I want I will also have some of the man’s homemade chicken schnitzel, get him in the kitchen too. Its pretty awesome! While we’re at it I’ll throw Mum into the kitchen and she can do her cheese and onion pie and home made potato cakes. Dad can get busy and knock up some oysters kilpatrick. I can sit back and watch.

That’s a lot of beer kind of food. But I’m not missing out on some wine with my last meal so lets open a bottle of Bobbie Burns. The man offered a bottle to take with me on Friday night when I went down to a friends place for drinks (mothers group aka girls gone wild) and I turned it down in favour of some vinegar we bought in Tassie which was nice in 2011 but has obviously turned!

Dessert – Nan’s pecan pie. For second dessert Shell can cook up some of the white wings maple pecan slice she used to make for school lunches. Gee that was good! Back in the days when you could take nuts and sugar to school.

After that I will have a break then have some dark chocolate and some really good muscat.

And after that…after that I will probably die from eating too much. Is that irony? I can never tell.

– Jen


#11 Your celebrity dinner party

Download PDF

Today’s post is #11 your celebrity dinner party – who would you invite?

The first person I’d invite is the man because he will be pissed if he finds out I had a dinner party and didn’t invite him, especially when he sees who the first celebrity I’m inviting is. Also it will be at our place so might be awkward if he’s fluffing around in the kitchen while I’m trying to get dinner for my guests ready.

So the first celebrity is Jens Voigt. Did you just say “who”? I’m disappointed.

Sigh. Click here, read – then come back.

So the man and I both love watching him in le tour and geez he is funny but also seems like such a nice guy. You can just about bet if the commentator says “there’s a breakaway” – the Jensie will feature.

I read some great Jens quotes today:

Of course the most famous one is ‘shutup legs’ but I didn’t know the rest of it, ‘shutup legs, do what I tell you to do’, and in his accent its even funnier.

But then there’s also “If you go (with a break), you can either win or not win. If you don’t go for it, you definitely won’t win”. Very true, Jens, very true!

Along the lines of the joke Chuck Norris ‘facts’ are some Jens ones and this one from Cycling Tips made the man giggle so you know its funny.

Jens once challenged Lance Armstrong to see who had more testicles. Jens won by 5.

See, very funny! Here is a video of him, I could listen to him talk all day!

There are other cyclists I’d like to invite but then I think they will just talk shop amongst themselves and ignore everyone else, of course this shop talk would be interesting too I guess. Simon Gerrans would be great, he seems lovely and of course Cadel! They all seem like nice boys.

The next person I would invite would be Hugh Jackman. He would sit next to the man so I can convince him once and for all he does NOT look like Hugh. He has a touch of Wolverine about him and that’s it.

If the cycling boys are there then Hugh needs some actor friends so I would also invite Ricky Gervais, Kate Winslet and Leslie Mann and Sigrid Thornton.

Ricky and Kate because I loved them in Extras (and Ricky in The Office of course), could you ever have imagined Kate Winslet saying ‘purple headed womb ferret’ before?

Leslie Mann and Sigrid Thornton because they’re my girl crushes. I love anything they’re in and I think they’d would both be quite fun to have at a party. I would question Sigrid about Diver Dan and Max in Seachange and also about All the Rivers Run.

There you have it! My celebrity dinner party.

Who would you invite?

– Jen

#38 What do you want to be when you grow up

Download PDF

// For the next 50 days I am doing Fat Mum Slim’s 50 things to blog about challenge – in no particular order

Today’s post is #38 what you want to be when you grow up (there’s still time)

Oh I still don’t know what I want to be ‘when I grow up’.

There are two avenues I think I would like to pursue but both are difficult to just go and ‘do’. I am in a great position with my current job, I do enjoy it and the pay and conditions are really really good making it difficult to justify pursuing something else.inspry

So its not like I hate my job and am desperately seeking a career change but if I could do anything I would like to do some kind of allied health job like a physiotherapy or maybe osteopathy or myotherapy. I had no interest in anything like that when I was in high school but its something I’m really interested in now and something I think I would be good at too!

So whats stopping me? Well like I said, its hard to step away from my job but also, both those things means time back at uni, and quite a lot of time too.  I’m not even sure if its something you can do as a mature aged student.

Of course there are other occupations similar to a physio or osteo I could look at such as a massage therapist or maybe something like a personal trainer although that doesn’t interest me quite as much.

I feel like I might have missed the boat on that one – but then sometimes I think – you only have one life and you should do something you love, take chances etc….aaaargh. I’ve been reading too many inspirational quotes on instagram!

The other thing I often contemplate is even riskier. I would like to work in a café and make coffee, that’s part A! Yes I would like to be a barista. So I think maybe I should do a barista course. Part B is opening my own café. It’s a funny thing to want to do but I think about it a lot! I would follow my all important ‘how to judge if a café has good coffee rules’ too.

So there you go. Two crazy ideas on what  I might like to be when I ‘grow up’.

What about you?


– Jen

#48 The top five blogs you just can’t get enough of!

Download PDF

// For the next 50 days I am doing Fat Mum Slim’s 50 things to blog about challenge – in no particular order

Today’s post is #48 – the top 5 blogs I just can’t get enough of!

top5This should be fun and not too taxing on my poor head. I’m feeling quite seedy after going on a mothers group drinking rampage last night…honestly, those mothers can drink. We have good reason to as well!

Number 1: Woogsworld

Woogsworld  is one of my favourite blogs to read, even though I’m pretty late to the party only coming across it late last year. Don’t know how I missed it! Anyway Mrs Woog is laugh out loud funny and her tagline ‘making the most of the mundane’ is bang on.

Here’s a couple of recent posts that made me laugh:

Morning challenges
Angry Birds

Number 2: The Veggie Mama

I’m enjoying reading her blog even more now she’s living in Melbourne. Great recipes as well. Another ‘real’ blogger.

Here are some posts of hers that I have enjoyed:

Two under two – how did I do it
Conversations in cars

Number 3: Eat Train Laugh

Another thing these bloggers all have in common is that they all post regularly! Evalin blogs about her training and races and I enjoy reading about her progress towards goals. Unlike a lot of other athletes blogs her posts are more than just race reports, although I loved reading her race reports on her ironman races!

Link to 2014 Ironman race report here and 2013 report here

Number 4: The Climbing Cyclist

I’ve been reading the Climbing Cyclist for quite awhile, probably about the time I started getting into cycling and realised I liked hills! Then when I started doing alpine climbs I’d pop over to the site, have a read of what I was about to climb and then annoy whoever I was climbing with by spouting off tidbits of information about the climb i.e. “did you know the Mt Hotham climb is 30kms long, and you can break the ride down into three sections, the first bit up to The Meg, then the middle 10kms featuring a false flat section and then the last 10kms which include CRB hill which is HIDEOUS”. Love it.

The blog side of it details trips or special rides and often guest posts from other cyclists. Usually a bit longer, great to read over brekky or lunch!

Here is a recent post about Mt Donna Buang that I enjoyed – link here

Number 5: Retromummy 

We don’t have much in common Mrs Retromummy and I, she has 7 kids with another soon to arrive. She’s very crafty too! Not in a devious way, in a quilting way. But I love her blog, the layout and design is awesome as well its so clean and crisp and she has amazing photos.

Here are some of my favourite recent Retromummy posts:

Quick things to sew for a baby
Clean first then you can craft (reminds me of someone I know!)

So there you are my top 5 blogs!

– Jen


#35 If you only had one day to live, how would you spend it?

Download PDF

// For the next 50 days I am doing Fat Mum Slim’s 50 things to blog about challenge – in no particular order

35onedayToday’s post is #35 – if you only had one day to live, how would you spend it?

Okay so I started out writing this as a list of the things I would do, but it is way too hard!

I also noted that the list of things I would do on my ‘last day on earth’ is actually quite unimaginative. It involves family time, bike riding, copious amounts of coffee and good food with friends. When I looked back at it, it read like a standard Sunday!

I can just hear the man screeching at me now “its your LAST DAY ALIVE can’t you think of something exciting you would want to do”. Nope I honestly cannot!

Which got me thinking, I’m in a pretty good place if the best I can come up with for my last day on earth is basically a normal Sunday for me. Obviously knowing its my last day alive I guess I would live it a little bit differently, if little man screamed all day like he did yesterday I wouldn’t mind, I would just let him stay up and cuddle him knowing it was my last day alive. But why didn’t I do that yesterday when for all I knew it might have been my last day?


So..I turned to google for help. After googling ‘last day alive how to spend it’  (yes I really did that, what of it!) I came across this TED conversation and it turns out my unimaginative ‘last day’ is quite normal that is, most people focus on what matters most to us but knowing it is your last day you are ‘in the moment’, not thinking about the past or future just ‘now’.

I have an upcoming blog project that will touch more on this but this living ‘in the moment’ is something I am trying to do more often. Its a bit sad but I find it really difficult. I’m easily distracted and I have to work REALLY hard at it! But, being more aware of that is a step in the right direction I think.

So perhaps the answer to the original question about how I would spend the last day of my life would be that I would spend the day with my family, friends, doing what I love -riding bikes, drinking coffee, cuddling my screaming baby and being in the moment while I do it all!

Wow there you go, quite a serious post that one!

What would you do if you had one day to live?

– Jen